Forgetting Who The Judge Is

This week the world lost one of the funniest, most talented, and apparently to those who knew him, one of the sweetest men ever to grace our screens. Robin Williams.

It is the first time that a death of a celebrity has actually made me cry. I hadn’t realised how many movies of his that I grew up with and absolutely love. The fact that he lost his life the way that he did makes it even more tragic.

There is so much that needs to be said about the darkness of depression and how little it is understood. There is also so much to be celebrated and appreciated in the life of Robin Williams. However, as much as I considered sharing my thoughts on these topics, there is something else that has been plaguing me lately that I really feel I should share.

I found out about Robin Williams’ death over Facebook. For a couple of days, my newsfeed was full of updates from friends and news outlets sharing about his loss and the latest news surrounding his death. It was on one of these updates that I saw a comment from a Christian that I have seen and heard many times before when people in the public eye pass away. It went something like this – “It is a shame that he is now separated from God forever.”

Let that sink in for a moment. “He is now separated from God forever.”

Someone who never met Robin Williams has decided his fate in eternity.

I was 17 when Princess Diana died. I remember that day so clearly. First the news was that she had been in a car accident. Then we heard two people in the car with her had died. Finally the news came through that she had died too.

I remember how sad my mother was. I wouldn’t call her a massive Diana fan, but it was a tragic death and I recall many people being very emotional.

It was a Sunday and we had a guest speaker at the  evening service at church. It was customary to take the guest speaker out for dinner afterwards. It wasn’t surprising what the topic of conversation was. I will never forget what the guest speaker said. “It is sad that she is probably now in a place where none of us want to be.”

When I was 17 I was even more introverted than I am now. I also put people like this guest speaker up on a pedestal and would not dare to speak against them. However, I must confess that I was so shocked that this man was consigning to hell a woman whom he had never met, except through the media. Hardly a reliable source. Outwardly I was silent but inwardly I was screaming, “How do you know?”

I don’t understand why people who believe in the reality of hell and desire to save people from it while they are alive are so quick to send those same people there when they are gone.

Even if we did know Robin Williams or Princess Diana personally, can we honestly say that we know the state of their souls in their last moments? Do not mistake my meaning either. I am not trying to argue that they were saints. My point is that we do not know. No one can definitively say that they knew them as God did.

I understand that there are those that view suicide as a great sin. I also understand that there are those who disapprove of the way others chose to live their lives. I do not claim to be a great theologian. I am far from it. I take comfort in the fact that I do not know all the answers, but I am created and loved by the One who does. However there is one thing that I do know with absolute certainty.

I am not the Judge.

As far as I’m aware, there is only One who I need to give an account to for my life, and thankfully there is no one who has to give their account to me.

I am sure that there may outcries about sin and phrases like cheap grace bandied about. But believe me, I know that the grace that saved me came at a great cost and I do want to live my life in a way that pleases the One who paid it. I also hope and pray for others to feel the same as I do in that regard.

But I am glad that I am not God. And I am glad that you are not either.

I watch a lot of movies. For this reason, and I know it could be seen as a cop-out, I watch them open to hearing from God through them.

As I have been thinking about this topic, there are two scenes from movies that come to mind. The first is from Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring. Gandalf tells Frodo that Gollum has been following them and one of the best moments of the movie play out for us:

Frodo: It's a pity Bilbo didn't kill him when he had the chance.

Gandalf: Pity? It was pity that stayed Bilbo's hand. Many that live deserve death. Some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them, Frodo? Do not be too eager to deal out death in judgment. Even the very wise cannot see all ends.

The second scene is from the great 80s movie, Footloose. The town’s reverend finds people burning books and is horrified that his example has led to this behaviour so he intervenes:

"Whose authority are you acting on? Hold it everybody! Listen to me!  When did you all decide to sit in judgment? Who elected you to be the saviours of everybody's souls in Bomont? When you've burned all of these, what are you gonna do then? Satan is not in these books. He's in here! He's in your hearts. Go on home, all of you. Go and sit in judgment on yourselves."

I don’t want to fall into the trap of judging people who I see as judgemental. The majority of the time, these are good, loving people who are not remembering that only God knows the heart. So I will end with these three points of advice, which seems appropriate for a blog that sounds like a sermon: 

1.         Imagine for a moment what heaven and hell would look like if you got to decide where people spent eternity.

2.         Thank God that that is not your job.

3.         The next time you are ‘eager to deal out death in judgement,’ instead, ‘go home and sit in judgement on yourselves.’

Confessions of a YouTube Addict

It is amazing to me that there are still so many people yet to discover the joy of YouTube.  But I have to remind myself - that is not really a reflection on them, it is a reflection on me. You see, I have become somewhat of a YouTube addict.

My name is Gwen…and I am a YouTubeaholic. This is my confession.

At first the addiction started with TV shows. When I came home from the UK there were a number shows that I missed, but I discovered whole episodes uploaded on YouTube. Now, nearly 9 years later, the list of shows that I am able to watch has expanded thanks to those willing to flout copyright laws.

TV shows and networks around the world are catching up though, with many now having their own channels releasing content on their terms, which will likely lead to the downfall of the channels illegally uploading. My favourites are the channels for Britain’s GotTalent and Jimmy Fallon.  Mainly because you don’t really need to see whole episodes of these shows. The best bits are usually what YouTubers get to see.

So that was how my addiction began. Innocently enough, but my viewing habits expanded. I don’t even remember how, but I soon discovered what I thought for a time YouTube was really made for. And I don’t mean cat videos. I mean FanVids.

It was so encouraging for me to find a community of people who are in love with the same shows, movies and characters that I am, but they have the talent to express it in a video.  The quality of videos can vary greatly, but if you find a good one, there is nothing better. I am a huge fan of KatSw3. She hasn’t released anything in a year, but every now and then I go back and re-watch some of her excellent creations. So check out her stuff and while you are at it, search for a fanvid for something you love. I guarantee you will find it and you will take comfort in the fact that there are people out there who are as obsessed as you are.

While you are doing that, you may stumble upon fanvids with a twist. Channels like How It ShouldHave Ended, CinemaSins, Bad LipReading and the Honest Trailers on the Screen Junkies Channel have taken the fanvid premise and added some sass. These channels provide heckles in video form but they are fun and they are indiscriminate. No one is safe and for some reason it makes what they do ok.

If comedy is your thing, look no further. There are so many comedians writing and creating content for YouTube. I am a fan of Convos with my2 Year Old, Tripp and Tyler, Stuart Edge and DavidMitchell’s Soapbox, but I must admit I have barely scratched the surface of what is available.

As a fan of Jane Austen, I have subscribed to PemberleyDigital and The LizzyBennett Diaries. These are modern retellings of Jane Austen stories, presented as a vlog. There are other classics stories that are being retold in a similar fashion (Peter Pan, Jane Eyre) and I am sure this will increase. I am still discovering more and more original shows created for YouTube and I get the sense that this is not necessarily being seen as a stepping stone to something bigger. There is a community of people around the world passionate about creating content for YouTube.

This is one of the greatest things about YouTube. It has given people a creative outlet that previously only existed on a television screen or in a movie theatre. Now there are YouTubers creating and releasing this content themselves. You see YouTube is not just a place where people can watch people fall down stairs or propose to their girlfriend. It has become a legitimate career. We are getting to the point when kids can start dreaming of being a YouTuber when they grow up. That thought really excites me because surely the more options people have to do what they love for a living, the better.

The Fine Bros are a great example of this. In my opinion, they are leading the pack in terms of creating content that has a worldwide reach. Every month these Emmy Winners  create a video that is amongst the most-viewed in the world. Their React series (Kids React, Teens React, YouTubers React and Elders React) is both entertaining and insightful.

If you are a movie junkie like me, you’ll love AMC Theatres. They have a daily news show and they do spoiler reviews of big blockbusters. If you’d appreciate short, sharp movie reviews, my favourites at the moment are Chris Stuckman and SchmoesKnow.

My favourite vloggers are Rhett and Link on Good MythicalMorning and Good MythicalMore. I think a good vlogger is someone who is likeable, relatable and fun - and these dudes from North Carolina really fit the bill. I can imagine having a good games night with them.

Prefer something to feed your soul and spirit? Then you’ll love ExploreGod. I love this channel so much! The tone of it is just right for me and there are real gems of truth to be found there.

If I haven't mentioned anything you think you'll like, everything else you could possibly be interested in; war, history, art, science, music; can probably be found on WatchMojo.

I have suddenly realised that this confession has turned into a promotion. To be honest, I probably don’t see being a YouTube addict as being such a bad thing. In fact, I love it.

I love the community feel that you can get from it. I love that if I think of a TV show or movie that I haven’t seen in years, I can search on YouTube and probably find something – from a fanvid to an entire movie. I love that I am exposed to talent that I probably would never have known existed if YouTube wasn’t around.

My name is Gwen…and I love YouTube.

Back to School

Today was the first day back at school after the summer break, and as you can imagine last night saw the usual mix of emotions - sadness that the holidays are over, anticipation over what is in store for the year ahead, and anxiety over which teacher they may get (especially hoping it is not 'the mean one' that has been dreaded all summer). However, it wasn't the children experiencing this range of emotions. It was me.

Every time the kids go back to school I experience the same feelings I used to experience when I was a kid.

The summer holidays are book-ended by significant 'night-befores' - Christmas Eve and first-day-of-school-eve - one the antithesis of the  other. Hopefully we are all familiar with the excitement that welcomes Christmas Eve. I once thought that we were also all familiar with the dread that welcomes the night before school, but I am quickly learning through my children that that is not the case.

During the last couple of weeks I have been doing what I can to prepare the kids for school. Apart from all the practical things, I have been ensuring they have done all they wanted to do over summer, asking them what they are most excited about for school and preparing them for not being with the friends or the teacher they want for the year. However, I slowly realised that this was more for my benefit than for theirs.

Perhaps it is a good reflection on their school, or on them, that they do not seem bothered about going back to school at all. In fact, when I parked the car outside the gates this morning to ask them how they were feeling they said 'excited', 'happy', 'great'. One of them eventually said she was a little nervous, but she had a big smile on her face at the time. What is that about?

It has caused me to ponder what it was about school that made me hate going back. My favourite years of school were without question my last 2 years of high school. I came into my own in those years, both academically and socially. I think I had started to figure myself out a bit better, plus I had some good teachers and a very good group of friends.

Ironically though, I think my high school was probably the worst of all the schools that I went to. My Primary school and Intermediate were considered better schools overall.

Intermediates are weird schools aren't they? Why we separate those two years from primary and high school I will never know.

During my first year of intermediate I had 'the mean teacher'. She was absolutely awful. I don't know why some people become teachers if they clearly can't stand children.  I honestly can't remember her smiling that whole year. My main memories of her are she stunk of smoke, had the voice to match her smoking habit and she would use any opportunity to mock or yell at any student.

I was a dream student. The goody two-shoes. Any teacher would love to have me in their class. But even I cannot remember her saying a single good word to me, but I sure remember the bad ones. (If my kids ever have a teacher like that - we will be having words!)

Thankfully, the next year I had an excellent teacher and a great group of friends. We laughed a lot, played heaps of sport and I really enjoyed learning. It is interesting that in my memory, when I think of form one it is always dark, but form two is always sunny. Suffice to say, apart from those two years in high school, the last year of Intermediate was one of my favourites.

Throughout primary and intermediate I had the same best friend. I looked up to her and she knew it. I wouldn't call her a bully, but she certainly had a dominant personality, which in hindsight, wasn't a good mix with me. But when you're that young, it's just great to have a best friend and I have lots of good memories with her, and lots of great memories of our time in Primary School together. It was a great school.

So I didn't have a school experience that was any better or worse than anyone else - so why the 'before-school-dread'?

Well, I have the answer everyone. The reason is choice. Freedom. Call it what you will, but the fact is that no matter what, I HAD TO go to school, and I hate HAVING to do something.

I go to work now of course. I suppose I do have to earn a living and there may be a parts of my job that I don't like sometimes. But I know that if I really wanted to leave, I could. Nothing is chaining me to that desk but my own choices.

I do need to work, but I am blessed to be in a position where what I do for work really is up to me. (A product of a good education!) Don't get me wrong, I'll never be an astronaut or cure cancer, but if I really wanted a change, I know I could find something else. It would not be an easy decision to make but it is still within my power to make that decision.

Every weekday I make the CHOICE to go to work. I therefore make the choice to do that work well and enjoy myself while doing it.

My kids do not have the luxury of having a choice regarding whether to go to school or not, or even which school they go to. But they do have the luxury of getting an education, making friends, growing their characters, and creating lasting memories - good or bad. Perhaps they are already smarter than me and can appreciate that. If that's the case, I'm not surprised they were looking forward to going back to school.

(And if you want a glimpse at what we did on holiday - check it out here.)