To Home, With Love...

How do you thank someone who has taken you from crayons to perfume?

It isn’t easy but I’ll try.

 

When Lulu sang these words in To Sir With Love it was a dedication to the teacher who had guided her into adulthood. I would like to make a similar dedication – to a house. This week I say goodbye to the house that I grew up in. It has been a part of my life for all of my 32 years. 

 

Leading up to this week I had thought that the only thing I would be upset about is leaving my cat, Bobby, who is buried in the backyard. But something has changed this week and I have been shedding tears and losing sleep like a crazy person. Over a house! Over some land, wood, tiles, carpet, electrics and plumbing. It seems so ridiculous to me. So I have been questioning why this is affecting me so much. At first I wondered if it was because I am grieving the loss of my childhood. But I don’t think so because I have four kids, so I am reliving my childhood everyday – and it is even better the second time around!

 

Losing my family home feels like losing a family member. This house has aged with me, it has been damaged by me, and yet it has still been good to me by keeping me warm and sheltered.

 

I am losing the biggest comfort blanket I've ever had – and it has been with me for as long as I can remember.

 

When I lived in the UK and dreamed of coming home, I didn’t dream of just anywhere in New Zealand – I dreamed of that house, those rooms, that driveway.

 

I know that this is self-indulgent, but when I started writing this blog, it was so I could get all my thoughts and feelings out of me in a creative way. And at the moment I am over-flowing with the need to say goodbye and thank you to an old family friend.

 

Every inch of that house has a memory attached to it - a lot of them terrible, but many more are truly great. I want to take some time to give just a small glimpse into some of those memories. I would hope that anyone could relate to them. My home and my family is not more special or different than any other. So hopefully my self-indulgence will have moments of familiarity to you, Maybe it will even help you appreciate the comfort blankets that you have, while you still have them. 

 

My parents room

• Sneaking into bed with mum and dad
• Pretending that the bed was a boat and we took turns being sharks

 The bathroom

• Sharing so many baths with my sisters and brother
• Fainting when I had the flu (the only time in my life I have done so) and hitting my head on the bath

 The toilet

• For some reason I was the one brave enough to be on plumbing duty. Fun times in a family of six.

 The second bedroom

• Having a secret hiding place in the closet with my cousin, where she told me some things about Santa that frankly, I am still in denial about.
• Singing to the mirror using my brush as a microphone. (Anything from the Footloose soundtrack. Let's hear it for the boy! )

 The third bedroom

• Lying in bed and twisting the curtains, then letting them go and watching them spin.
• Trying to stay awake in bed till dad got home, so he could give me a hug, spin me around the room and say goodnight.
• Playing murder in the dark, charades, and building a fort!
• Throwing my sister's stereo across the room and smashing it against the wall. (Don't make a tween angry).

The ‘fourth bedroom’

• Originally a hall way, then a play room, then the smallest bedroom ever! (My bedroom for my teen years)
• Having no wall paper, so the walls got covered in messages from friends and family
• Waking up early to do the paper run
• Banging on the wall because the TV was too loud!
• Having my boyfriend (now husband) come to my window to say goodnight.
• The twin's nursery when we came back from the UK

The kitchen

• Mum's cooking! Chop suey, sweet and sour pork, pineapple cake...mmmmmmmm
• Failing at cooking rice because I didn't add water, and at cooking mashed potatoes because I didn't boil them. (I was not a clever child).

The conservatory

• Originally a balcony, it was used as a dance floor when first built.
• So many great parties!
• VHS, DVDs, spare bed, cane furniture - no room for parties anymore.
• So loud when it rained.

 The driveway

• Distributing the Auckland Star to the delivery boys and girls
• Washing the car, birthday parties, lolly scrambles, squirt with a hose on hot days
• Peeing on the doorstep after school because no one was home and I couldn't hold it. (TMI?)

 The front yard

• Handstands
• 'Salt, pepper or mustard'
• Gardening very early on a Saturday morning

 The back yard

• Kids pool, going down to the creek, lying out in the sun or the shade
• Trampoline - which was stolen after about a decade without us noticing for who knows how long (Hey, did you get rid of the tramp? No it's still there. No it's not. Who steals a tramp?)

 The lounge and dining room

• Where so much life happened - every topic has been discussed and every emotion has been experienced around that table.
• Finding out that we had lost grandpa, nana...friends, family...
• Awkward and awful family meetings
• Christmas! (Trying to take a peek into the lounge to see the presents when there was a wall separating the dining room - but not being allowed till we had eaten breakfast.)
• Creating dances and putting on shows for family (If only it had stayed in the family).
• Aunties and cousins laughing hysterically at the WWF
• So much laughter!
• So many games!
• Rugby World Cup 2011! (And every major, and even not-so-major, sporting event before then)
• My twin girls taking their first steps - hilarious!

 

The memories are not restricted to the house. That street was so great to grow up in. Perfect for riding your bike. My cousin and I had our own 'Bicycle Olympics' going at one point. (Yes - we were that cool). There is the park down the road, the bus stop where I would catch the bus to school, even the dairy where the owners still recognise me when I walk in.

 

It will be so hard to say goodbye, but I have not really lived in that house since I was 19, so I know that I carry it all with me. It reminds me to treasure the memories I am making with my own little family.

 

When my husband and I bought our first home it was only a five minute walk away from my parents. We our now in our second home, and my parents are moving a five minute walk away from us. Their new house is beautiful and I can see great times ahead for all of us.

But first, I have to say goodbye to my home.

 

Goodbye Heathberry Close. You were a wonderful home. Thank you for being so good to us. Sorry if we ever took you for granted. You will always be a blessing. I'll miss you. Love Gwen xo